Posts Tagged ‘yenta’

The Set Up

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

Does being set up ever, actually, work?

I mean I know that we all have a friend of a friend of a friend who met the love of his/her life via a set up. But does anyone actually KNOW someone who met, fell in love, and made history via a set up?

I’ve been set up. Once. It was awful.

So, a few months ago, when another girlfriend offered to set me up with one of her friends I wrote the following email:

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From: Leah
To: Potential Meddling Yenta
Subject: Your Superpowers: Good or Evil?

As the subject line suggests I’m curious to know if you’re using your powers for good or for evil. For all I know this guy is a dude you met in a truck-stop shower stall and you’re just trying to add fodder for the column in the hopes that it launches me to super stardom and then we can all start our new lives working in the empire of awesome breeding unicorns…

Let me start off by saying that the last person–the only person–who has ever attempted to broker a date for me was a middle-aged gay man.  His efforts ended up being more yenta and less matchmaker. He gave my phone number to the neighbor who had seen me through the window naked when I house-sat for said gay middle-aged man.

Literally, on the one date I went on with this neighbor, when I asked him, “So why did you ask Chris [the middle-aged gay man]  for my number?” he said, “You have really nice tits.”

I do have really nice tits but please don’t become a yenta.

Now that I’ve cleared that up…

I will admit I’m intrigued. Especially by the fact that this other fellow is a willing participant in the potential “You-Should-Make-Out-With-My-Friend” social experiment.

If this goes well we should launch makeoutwithmyfriend.com.  It’ll be huge.

So let’s say I’m in.  No boundaries. No ground rules. I think perhaps some sort of group social engagement that involves activity is best as it will hopefully dispel any potential awkward when this cat meets me and says to you, “Hey! I thought you said she had great breasts.”  They’re not great breasts, they’re really nice tits. Get it right.

Although that said, I feel like I’m on a match date.  Is this the part where I show up with a pink ribbon in my hair?

Please continue to tell everyone how funny I am.  Especially if you want in on this empire. Maybe one day I will be rich because of it.  If not then I always have my really nice tits to fall back on.

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Thankfully this particular set up never ever happened.

But tell me, were you ever set up? How’d it go?