Dating and other bad habits.

It started innocently enough.  The Kitten declared her presence in a township nearby to The Wolf. The Wolf lived in a far away land and it is not often that kittens travel that way.  (It just isn’t a place for kittens).  The townships of the North are odd places full of odd creatures and other unforeseeable oddities.

So…The Kitten declared to The Wolf that she had journeyed far from her homeland and was in the next town over.  She indicated her long journey and her potential fear at being so far from home.  What she was trying to say was “Hey Wolfie, I’m in the next town over. Come have lunch.”  But The Wolf didn’t understand her indirect communication and began to argue that his own township was more perilous.  The Kitten declared, “You’re the expert.”

What follows is the transcription of their communique:

Kitten: “You’re the expert.”
Wolf: “In so many ways you can’t keep up.”
Kitten: “I beg to differ but we’ll call that a difference of opinion.”
Wolf: “Hmmm. Better check yourself.”
Kitten: “It’s cute that you think you can keep up with me.”
(Intended flirtatiously).
Wolf: “Keep up? With you? You really have no idea what I do for a living, do you?”
(Not taken flirtatiously, we’ll guess).
Kitten: “You really have no idea what I do for a life, professionally or otherwise. But that’s ok.”
Wolf: “Nice effort kiddo. But you can’t echo me.”
(When did this become a competition?)
Kitten: “If it makes you feel better then believe that.  I don’t need to compete with you.”
Wolf: “Wow. Hostile much?”

It’s at this point that The Kitten is beyond frustrated but not hostile.  Just annoyed she walked into The Wolf’s trap. Instead of feeding off his negativity she decides to try and take back the power.

Kitten: “Not at all. I feel incredible right now.  You?”
Wolf: “Ummm. I want to buy a gun and shoot myself in the brain.”
(See Kitten, not about you at all!)
Kitten: “That’s no good kid. No good at all. There are better ways to off yourself. You sound like you’ve lost. You’re not defeated.”
(Kitten, you sound like a fortune cookie).
Wolf: “Hah, no. That’s a normal state for me while I’m at work trying to sort out other people’s moronic ideas and decisions.”
(Kitten has nothing to say. She’s grown tired of this game…the whole game.)
Kitten: “Good luck Wolf.  Good luck.”

It’s at this point The Wolf starts to babble on about what the specific problem is that has him all twisted up. The Kitten attempts to problem solve and provides suggestions to remedy the situation. That’s what men typically do.

Wolf: “You’re focusing on the wrong part of the story”

So…The Kitten uses masculine language and logic when The Wolf apparently just wanted to voice his complaints.  But after weeks of indirect communication from The Wolf, The Kitten has decided this is entirely too much work.

Kitten: “Did you want me to play with your hair and tell you it will all be ok? Didn’t think so. Figure it out. Make it work. THAT is what you are good at.”

We’ll guess by The Wolf’s stunned silence that he probably didn’t enjoy being emasculated–especially given his already exacerbated state of mind.  We’ll also guess that he and The Kitten never communicated that well anyway.

Now perhaps she should have communicated directly, “Hey Wolfie, I’m in the next town over let’s do lunch. But The Wolf was semi-pro at avoiding answering her direct questions (i.e. “Are you free to have dinner with me tonight?”; Answer “I’m never free”).

And they say men and women can’t communicate.

So the moral of the story?  It’s time to move on when you can’t even ask someone if they want to grab lunch after you’re driven an hour and a half to meet with a client and are in their neighborhood.