Archive for May, 2010

Four Questions Of Death…Err Dating

Tuesday, May 18th, 2010

The Frisky is a fabulous place full of fancy, fashion, smart people, and unicorns so if you’ve never been over there, DO it.  Last week they posted this little gem–4 Questions To Ask Your Next Potential Boyfriend.

While this advice might have been more helpful in the time of BB,  it piqued my curiosity.  What would BF say? Would his answers have changed our dating present?  Would the SOB have been unlucky enough to avoid being arm candy to this bitchin’ diva? (Or lucky. Depends on the day.)

So I asked BF to be a Dating & Other Bad Habits guinea pig and provide blog fodder.  He agreed and may now regret that decision…

What’s the worst thing that ever happened to you? How did you recover?
Worst thing? Nothing seems to qualify as a “worst thing”. Maybe discovering I was losing my hair? Seems vain and petty for a worst thing. From which I recovered by just getting over it.

According to the article, this question helps clue you in to a guy’s psychological stability.  If he ain’t over the worst thing that happened to him, here’s your sign that he might not be able to get over things.  And if he can’t get over the worst thing that ever happened to him and it relates to an ex-girlfriend–and isn’t a story involving his best friend, a llama, or some combination there of—you could end up being the next “worst thing” that ever happened to him.

So far, BF passes the test. While yes, his hair is thinner that some, he actually had to think for a few days about what to qualify as the worst thing that ever happened.  This was the best he could come up with.

What do you like to do when you’re not working?
When I’m not working, I usually like to do something to keep up with news and such, from NPR or maybe sifting through Google Reader.

BF is not a work-a-holic (good) and his answer indicates things that I find attractive in men (he’s well-read and informed, also good).  He also mentions things we have in common (we both like NPR). This question works hand in hand with the next set of questions to highlight our similarities and differences and thus, our compatibility.

What do you do when you’re alone? With your friends?
When I’m alone? If I’m not burned out, I like to make things. Songs and software and such. Otherwise, video games.With my friends? Dinner out. Getting drinks. The occasional rock show. For the next week, watching Lost.

BF is a creative type who likes to make things. He writes and produces music and yeah, also makes his own software projects.  His answer highlights that he is extremely comfortable at home and likes the company he keeps when he’s by himself.  The fact that he didn’t say “What friends?” speaks to the fact that he isn’t a total loner.  But notice he likes activities done in small groups (dinner, drinks) even when those activities involve a larger mesh of people (rock shows).

Lastly, it highlights the fact that we aren’t like Bobsey twins and have different interests as well. The words “making software” and “playing video” games leave a blank stare on my face, just as me saying “shoe sale” would elicit the same reaction from him.

How do you feel about your mother?
Also, I love my mother very much.

Simple and to the point. He’s not a Mama’s boy, but he also loves and respects his mom. And other women too.


So riddle me this, have you asked these questions? Ever gotten an answer you didn’t like? Any red flags?

And should we let BF ask these same questions of me?