A Life Goal
Is it so wrong that I want to end up on THIS site before the year is over?
Okay, okay, so it might not actually be a life goal, but think of how much joy it would bring me? And of all the good I could do? Okay, nevermind, so there’s no good I could do. BUT…it would be funny as hell. And I think I have a real shot since the guy who runs the site has a thing for librarian types. Now if only I knew any grade A douchebags…
I mentioned this idea to my friend, Danger Cakes (shockingly not her real name), and she’s appalled. I’m not sure if it’s by the mere look of all the orange men and plastic fantastic women who grace the site. Perhaps it’s the fact that I would stoop so low for the sake of personal entertainment. Maybe still it’s the idea that I would actually want photographic evidence of such a tragedy.
I don’t care. I wanna.
I suggested in order to further my goal we play a game one of my best friends from high school is semi-pro at: douchebag bingo.
The rules are simple. You fill in your card. It’s the perfect way to get multiple photos with multiple douchebags. More choice for submissions!
Guy with popped collar? Mark your card. Bad spray tan? Mark that card. Spiky hair that could kill on contact? Mark it! Von Dutch hat? Oh girl, please, I beg you, mark the damn card!
“I vote you as most likely to get roofied,” Danger Cakes remarks, warming to the idea of the game.
“I don’t want to be roofied,” I bemoan.
“Well,” she says thinking. “When one of the douches buys you a drink watch the bartender make it. If you don’t see it made then ask ‘Is this roofied?’ If the douche says yes then throw it in his face.”
Douchebag bingo, here we come!