Lying Liars & The Men Who Loathe Them

“It’s like an x-rated version of the telephone game,” one of my guy friends says before telling me a story. The intention is that I can use this for my blog. And maybe it’s more ex-rated than x-rated. But bless you people for feeding me stories!

Today’s story of choice goes a little something like this…

Once upon a time over the summer this guy met a cute girl at Wash Park. She was hot and liked to work out, and thus was right up this guy’s alley.  He and Little Miss Fitness went out only once, had a few drinks and did a little smooching before she fell asleep and and he drove her home.

He called her a few days later to follow up and see about hanging out again.

Little Miss Fitness had become Little Miss Lush. She was hammered. She could barely talk. And at that precise moment in time–on a Sunday afternoon–she was lying in the back of a car while her friend drove her home.  Now we’ve all been there (okay, I’ve been there), but common sense would say don’t answer the phone when a cute guy calls. Let it go to voicemail. Call him back later. Play it cool. They don’t need to see you shammered until at least date number three!

He never called her again. Infrequently, they would run into each other due to mutual friends. But mostly, he just forgot all about her.  Until…

Last weekend one of those mutual friends brought her up in conversation.

Trying to be polite about her, er, lifestyle, he said, “I didn’t think she was all that into me and I got the feeling she partied a little bit too much for my preference.” (Hey, at least he was honest).

The response he got?

“Well here’s the scoop that I heard…”

Apparently a friend of a friend of Little Miss Lush said that at one point she was excited about the prospect of dating the fine specimen of man that my friend is.  But she went on to relay that nothing happened because, “He wanted a bj but wouldn’t reciprocate.”

Quoi? That seems awfully unnecessary. It simply just wasn’t going anywhere.

In the words of my friend, “If you’re gonna lie, at least make it good; tell everyone I took her to 7-Eleven for nachos and Slurpees and then wanted to play strip Dungeons and Dragons or something.”

Who wants Slurpees?

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2 Responses to “Lying Liars & The Men Who Loathe Them”

  1. Trish Says:

    Is it bad that I think strip D&D could be fun?

  2. DFK Says:

    I’d be afraid that her Level 18 Wizard would cast the Spell of Lavender Berries on me.

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