The Little Green Monster

“You are soooooooo funny!” She exclaimed, leaning closer to him.

“I’m going to go get us another beer,” she purred, running her bony finger across the top of his shoulder. I sat on the other side. He was the PB&J of our sandwich, flanked on either side by the bread of tiny brunettes.

And I was pissed.

He was not my boyfriend, to be sure. But we had been seeing each other regularly. We went on dates. We drank whiskey. We had relations. That was certainly the extent of it, but we can call it dating.

I did not know what a jealous creature I could be until this exact moment in time (all that time ago). Here was a woman dangling her pussy in front of my (then sort-of) man like it was a damn piñata.  If you whacked it would candy fall out?

She returned, beers in hand, and nestled into the couch.  This was far too much work– fighting for a man I only wanted to have fun with? No thanks. So I walked away.

She never did get her man.

And months later I got my accidental revenge when I started dating her ex-boyfriend. Not for that purpose (to be incredibly clear). But somehow satisfying nonetheless…

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2 Responses to “The Little Green Monster”

  1. Barrie Says:

    I love it when you compare pussies to piñatas. It’s one of my favorite things about you.

  2. Tweets that mention Dating and other bad habits. » Blog Archive » The Little Green Monster -- Says:

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