Dear Abby Better Watch Her Back

Beyond being sassy and single and prowling for willing victims dates I also have a job. It’s just one of those things that I do to pay stuff like bills and do something called work.  At my job I spend a lot of time fielding phone calls (among other details I won’t bore you with).

But the phone calls are awesome.

I’ve had people call and read me the bible. Sometimes they tell me all about their lives. Often they talk about other people. Sometimes they ask random questions like if I know what the weather will be like tomorrow.  The following is one such gem of a phone conversation from some point last week.

Me: “Insert-typical-phone-greeting-here”
Him: “I have a problem.”
Me: (cheerfully) “What’s the problem?”

As Him starts talking I realize that he is probably between the age of 13 and 15. He can’t be older than that.  He seems genuinely upset with the situation at hand and seems to think that either I can help him fix it or I can transfer it to someone who can.

Him: “My girlfriend doesn’t seem to want to go to the movies with me. She always has to babysit.”
Me: “I see. Well, maybe she really has to babysit.”
Him: “I don’t know. We’ve only been going out for like a week but everytime I ask her to go to the movies she has to babysit.”

(No idea how many movies he wanted to see in a week, but seeing this is a dire situation, I decide details aren’t important).

Me: “Well, what if you asked her when she was free to go to the movies? So she can pick a night when she isn’t babysitting? Then you’ll know.”
Him: “Yeah, yeah. I could totally do that.”

And they say communication in relationships is hard. Ha!

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