Women Are Sneaky

Women are crafty. It’s true.

Some of us do things we don’t even realize we’re doing. Like twirling our hair, or tossing our hair, or pretty much anything having to do with our hair. Some of us do things that we do realize we’re doing. Like twirling our hair, tossing our hair, and other things having to do with our hair.

But this story is of that first variety–I had no idea what I was doing consciously. But subconsciously? I was being a sneaky little minx.

Picture this: A second date. Two people seated across from one another at a kitchen table, stuffed to the gills after enjoying a steak dinner. Between them, a scrabble board. Seven tiles to a rack, one rack per person. Tension mounts as each of us begins to place our words upon the board.

He put down two little letters. Two little letters for one big fat score.

“Qi?!” I exclaimed questioningly. “That’s not a word!”

Oh, but it was. This man was sneaky. He knew his way around a Scrabble board. I was outmatched, outsmarted, outwitted. My frustration mounting I could feel my emotions beginning to take control. I got up, went to the freezer, pulled out the ice cream. Angrily I began shoving spoonfuls into my mouth.

Something was happening. Something awful. I could feel it happening: I was about to Pout (capital P).  The voice in my head was speaking calmly, soothingly, sing-song, “It’s okay Leah. You don’t have to win, just keep trying. It’s okay.”

But it was too late. My bottom lip was already out. My breathing had changed. I was harrumphing my way through the game. I was blinded. I could see no words that I could play on the board.  But I could see one word I could spell…

In the upper left corner, carefully, calculating, I jammed each letter into the bracket forcefully.

“This…is…what…I’m…going…to…need…if…we’re…going…to…keep…playing…this STUPID game!” I choked out, placing the word “valium” into the upper left corner.

In my head the once singing calm voice was now panicked. “STOP IT! STOP IT!” the voice in my head shrieked. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? STOOOOOOOOOOOP!”  But it was too late. I had already pulled a Diva hissy fit move.

I held my breath, waiting for the next move. Would he yell at me, angered by my ridiculousness? Would he “Baby baby baby” me and try to make it all okay?  Just how would he react?

He didn’t skip a beat. Ignored my tantrum completely. Calmly he looked at the word valium, then at the board. One by one he removed the letters from valium and moved them around the board, showing me different word possibilities.  Finished, he looked up at me.

“Well?” he said, “Which one are you going to play.”

My lip stopped quivering. I took a deep breath. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment. I moved the extra letters off the board and selected my play.  The game continued.

And at the end of the game there we sat, much as we had begun. Two people sitting across from each other, board between us.

Somehow, I had won the game.

“I got played,” he said, raising one eyebrow in my direction.

But not on purpose, I swear! Some of us do things we don’t even realize we’re doing.

Like winning at scrabble by playing dirty and pitching a fit.

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2 Responses to “Women Are Sneaky”

  1. Micah DL Says:

    You must teach me your wily Scrabble-ing ways. I throw hissy fits about it all the time and STILL have yet to win a game against TD. It’s just not fair.

    [Reply]

  2. wendy Says:

    there’s this really great part in Veronica Mars where she discusses the power of the hissy fit along with a statement something like “anyone who says it is a mans world, never knew how easy it is to be a girl”

    [Reply]

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